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Aku dah x tau nak spill kat mna...
Sunday, 30 October 2011 • 04:13 • 1 comments


Assalamualaikum...

ok fine...aq mmg x wjud.x pda mta dyorg,x pda mta sesape pn...except family aq la.kronik sgt la 2 klau smpykan family aq pn dh kelam & x sdar aq ad kat ne kan? tp cbe gtau aq? cp yg x ske hdup amongs friends??? x kra sekronik and se-psycho mne pn dy? dy mst akan hppy ble ad kroni yg seangkatan dgn dy.and i'm badly wish ad someone who cares.yg knal aq the way it should be,yg blh share smua girly moment dgn aq,happines aq,sorrow aq...2 dreams aq...no matter how cliche and corny it is :-( itu la dream aq...
define dream? most of the people akn jwb 'impian' something that you badly wishing for :-)
ad definition laen ke untk 'dreams?' hurm...depends on how you take it, a dream? blh jd it's somethng yg nak tp x kn dpat dicapai...satu mimipi,ilusi @ satu impian yg kta nk fulfill,come hell or high water.yg blh jd realiti.and ble aq fkirkan blek...aq rsa dreams aq 2 'impossible'! sbb nobody cares and nobody wanna know.org x fhm aq...and dyorg ad bnyk lg bnda laen nk dibuat slain mndgar 'Ain najwa' trying 2 spill out everythng.yeah!!! reality bites and lying hurts. bhong sngat2 bla aq kta "i'm happy...even withaout a friend" tipu!!! sbb aq cba untk mnyelamatkn dri aq drpd sakit and sasau bla knowing yg x ad cp ksah sma ada aq ad @ x :-) it's ckup sakit bla kta trpksa berlakon yg we're fine sdgkan dlm hati nie? tsunami,tornado,kartika? smuanya tngah meng-hentam ckup2! (huh? drama kan?) tp 2 la life aq :-) sbb ap aq ckp cm ny? sbb...nobody ever listened...sbb...smua org ad bnd yg lbih interesting,lbih pnting nk dibuat slain dgr aq berckp.kdg2 aq fed up dgn life keliling,aq fed up dgn org pnya expectation pd aq,fed up dgn org2 keliling yg x prnh fhm aq ny jnis mnusia yg mcm mna? and ad 1 bnd je yg blh jd jln kluar.Escape.Lari.whatever you want 2 call it.slalunya bla aq dh mla ddk sensorg,x brckp,diam dgn mka kelam x be-riak? org akn mle bt expectation yg aq mrajuk.sensitif ! tp aq x!!!
itu cara aq 'lari'.lari dari realiti yg menyempitkan jiwa aq,lari dari realiti yg menyesakkan dada aq,lari dri knyataan yg...nobody even care x kra ap pn yg aq bt.slh ke klau aq cri my own 'escapism' ? that's what we call [I-do-know-you-but-I-didn't-know-you] org x fhm.sbb? nobody even asked me...knp? why i'm doing that? adil ke bla org bt expectation yg bkn2 psal aq pdahal sbnrnya aq cma cba untk lri dri kenyataan yg memusingkan kpla otak aq 360 drjah? lri dr realiti huh? (bdo gla kn action 2?) tp ap aq blh bt? x ad org yg sudi nk dgr pn...and aq x tau nk spill kat mna.so aq cme 'makan hati berulam jantung' je la :-)
kwn2? aq x brdndm pn bla dyorg bt aq mcm ni...sbb dyorg 'harta' aq,yg aq syg bgai nak mati ! dyorg 'dunia' aq :-) tp x de sorg pn tau...sbb x de sorg pn yg akan dtg kt aq and say... "hey what's up? spill it out.i'm listening 2 you" x ada!!! not even a person.bg dyorg?Ain is 'ain'.a girl yg ske bt hal,mrajuk,mrajuk and mrajuk again :-) itu aq pd dyorg :-) (kronik? yes it is) we live 2 dream??? (huh! ye la sangat) bg aq? we live 2 being hurted :-) (whoa!!! parah) tp 2 la aq...'Ain najwa' yg lnsg org x knal :-)
Aq tau...kdg2 calamity 2 dtg smpy dh dh hbis takat meter dan skala...menghentam and menyempitkan hdup aq...tp cp aq? untk than smua 2? ;-) and sorry ya Allah bla kdg2 aq trlupa yg stiap yg brlaku 2 ad hkmahnya smpy aq mrah nk gila...

we live 2 dreams...itu la dream aq.dream yg aq x pasti sma ad akn trcpai @ x?

knp aq ckp smua ni? sbb aq sdar diri :-)
cause i am a 'teruk' girl.aq ngaku 2
lend me a hand ==" guides me 2 the right path...
kdg2 aq 'tersalah' and i'm sorry.trully madly sorry

aq skit aty? aq sasau? i'm alone?
(eheh) x ada cp pn yg pduli smua 2... :-)
sbb yg dyorg fkir cme... "hm...biasa la dy 2,mrajuk je tau" :-)
Tp x ap,aq dh blajar untk trima

Dear Allah...
I know you're listening 2 me...
making me 'fine' no matter how bad my state is...
and thanks...Ya Allah...
4 being the only one who did it :-)
syukur...aq msih ada 'dia' kt ats sna :-)


ps:Aq menulis...sbb aq dh hlang kwn aq.bkn hlang dri mata :-) tp trully...aq dh x knal dy


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Hazell | Nov 97 | Muslim | Shawol | SM Stan

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